More knuckleheads and morons

Colin Kapernick and Quinten Patton, now Aldon Smith, not to mention the other NFL players vying for membership in the Knucklehead Club. Has any statistic minded person figured out the percentage of athletes in trouble in comparison to other professions, say dentists or plumbers? Well, you might argue (being a defender of athletes) that Athletes work under constant pressure and are strung tight. Humm? I wonder how many ballet dancers have been arrested for talking about having a bomb while in an airport. How about Air force pilots putting themselves in a room alone with a woman serving them drinks? Oops, I guess this has happened. It might be a tight race to see who has the most members in the Knucklehead Club, athletes or military personnel. All right, if not the military, how about teachers or computer engineers?

Let me suggest that Professional sports teams draw up a list of NO, NO's and deliver them to all  the players at training camp. Memorization required. Examples:

YOU WILL NOT PLACE YOURSELF IN A COMPROMISING POSITION ALONE OR WITH OTHERS WITH A WOMAN OR WOMEN IN WHICH THERE IS ALCOHOL BEING SERVED OR DRUGS BEING USED OR ANY CLOTHES BEING DOFTED.

YOU WILL NOT CARRY A FIREARM IN YOUR VEHICLE. YOU WILL NEVER SHOOT A PISTOL UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DURING A PARTY INTO THE AIR OR INTO A PERSON.

YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE THE SCENE OF AN ACCIDENT IN WHICH YOU WERE INVOLVED NO MATTER HOW DRUNK YOU WERE.

DO NOT TAKE MUSCLE ENHANCING DRUGS.

DON'T BULLY, OR WE'LL SEND YOU  TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. HOW ABOUT FIRE YOU?

DON'T SEND PHOTOGRAPHS OF YOURSELF NAKED TO ANYONE OVER THE INTERNET OR FACEBOOK OR WHATEVER.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL YOU SAY THE WORD, "BOMB" IN AN AIRPORT, TRAIN OR BUS STATION.

EVERY MORNING, STAND IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR AND REPEAT, I'M NOT SPECIAL.

I can think of at least 50 more rules athletes could stand to take to heart. But, then, they might have to give up thinking they were special and thus not required to follow normal human behavior. Ooops, again. Has anyone seen Wolfman of Wall Street? Enough said about normal behavior. On the other hand, perhaps, greed is normal behavior. As for sex, the second theme of the movie, (There are no others.) I'll leave it up to you to decide if the sex your were watching on screen represented normalcy.

Perhaps there is no such thing as normal behavior?

How about classy behavior, then?

As an NBA rookie I was taught by word and by example by older teammates (Hall of Famer Paul Arizin comes to mind) that I should always "show class." Can't say I always succeeded, but I tried.

Being a snazzy dresser and driving extravagant cars does not mean you have class, which is what I think some of today's pros think. Although, I have to say D Wade puts on quite a show in the fashion department.

Returning to the title of my blog, let's talk about Morons. Who was the talking head on Fox News recently who objected to the movie Noah because it was not a documentary?

I love movies and taught film at Sierra College for years. Noah is the kind of movie that would turn me off  movies forever. As soon as the Ex Angels Rock People came on the scene to protect Noah and help him build the Ark, I was ready to head for the exit. There was a Kings game on TV I could watch if I wanted to torture myself.

I thought it was a put-down on Live at the Masters following  Bubba Watson's win that the course suited him because he's a lefty, naming other lefties that have won The Masters, the implication being that the course favors lefties, the further implication being that Bubba is not as good on other courses.

Here is a poem I wrote about golf from my new collection of poems - Sweat: New and Selected Poems About Sports.

Why I Never Played Golf

I didn't trust myself. Imagine
losing a match by one stroke
on the eighteenth green, his putt
longer than mine. He sinks it
for a birdie, and I sink mine
for a par, and I have my putter
in my hand and a bad temper,
and he is smiling at me.
You understand, smiling.